13th May 2002 - Telephone Calls

Researchers have found out that Singaporeans have a unique way of calling and answering telephone calls.

Here are some ways of how people call:

Caller: Hello? If it isn't too much trouble, may I speak to John please? Thank you.
Caller: Hello? John please?
Caller: Hello? John?
Caller: John?
Caller: Who's this?
Caller: Why you call me? Click!
Caller: Hehe! Hehe! Click!

Here are some ways of how people answer calls:

Answerer: Hello? Who would you like to speak to? I'll put you to him/her in a moment.
Answerer: Hello? Who would you like to speak to?
Answerer: Hello? Who are you looking for?
Answerer: Hello? Who ah?
Answerer: Who ah?
Answerer: @#$%&!
Answerer: I'm sorry. The person whom you are looking for is execting his plant to die anytime. Please don't call back. He'd be devestated.
Answerer: Sorri hor. The caller you are trying to receive is not in use. Please try again later hor.

Researchers estimate that 90% of Singaporeans fall into one of these categories. However, they also do warn that excessive use of negative greetings will result in implication of your personal phone line being suspended at the phone provider's pleasure.