25th May 2002 - Keep Left Campaign

With several other advanced countries like Japan practicing the "Keep Left" courtesy gesture on the escalators, we, Kiasu Singaporeans, would never let our Japanese counterparts beat us.

Yes, we too, have also implemented the "Keep Left" campaign. But through a Crapweb survey on 2 random people, the results turned out negative.

Said a student, "I often go back home with my friends. When we are on the escalator, we talk. It is extremely awkward for us to stand in one straight line on the left flank of the escalator and expect to be able to communicate with each other with ease."

Said a middle-aged lady, "Every Sunday, I would go to the market to buy food. However since my house is so far away from the market, I have little choice but to take the MRT there. So, I do follow the "Keep Left" campaign. What are you interviewing me for?"

When Crapweb tailed the lady down the escalator, it could be seen that the plastic bags held in the lady's right hand was covering the right side of the escalator. It hardly made any difference.

With such a negative response, the Ministry Of escaLAtoRS (MOLARS) has decided to fine people who do not adhere to such rules. Said a spokesman, "It is in our greatest intention to boost the service quality of Singaporean escalators. Therefore, I strongly urge all Singaporeans to play an active role in this meaningful activity."

Escalator fines will eventually escalate fines.